My son was toilet trained during the day. However in the night, I needed to wake him up 2 or 3 times and take him to the restroom, so he could stay dry through the night. It was exhausting. Sometimes I would be tired and fail to wake up. Then he would do bed wetting and the next day I had more laundry. Sometimes he could sleep through the entire night without waking up and be dry. I would reward him for this. But he could not connect the reward to the previous night’s success. I looked for patterns – did he get more liquids closer to bedtime when he was unsuccessful? But I found none.
Finally I tried this. I started setting an alarm and taking him consistently at 12 midnight and 3 am. Once he got used to this pattern. I kept the 12 midnight wake up call the same, but started moving up the 3 am time by 15 minute increments. Every 3 or 4 days, I would move up the time by 15 minutes. It took us several weeks to get to 6 am. But now he was being dry from 12 to 6! It was a big step for us. Next I started , moving back from 12 to 11:45, then 11:30, and so on. This I did more gradually. I'd stay at a time for an entire week or more before shifting, to make sure, we could hold on to our initial success. We are now at 10:30 and 6 am. I think he gets the idea now, and is attempting to stay dry on his own. He still occasionally has lapses but is almost there.
I hope that one night, he'll understand that he can get up himself and go use the restroom if he needs to. That would make him fully independent in this area.
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